Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
