i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
