I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think people are normalizing furries
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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