drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
