So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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