i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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