So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
