yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
