yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Randomize
