On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
