I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We need to rekindle our bromance
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
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