At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize