I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
