how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
the raccoons are back...
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