I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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