i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
