I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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