Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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