I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
