I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
