@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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