bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
