My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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