yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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