I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
