I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I need to align my fucking chakras
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
