4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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