This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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