is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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