Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
