I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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