Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
