I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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