My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The beer is more important than you right now.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize