You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
