just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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