Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
