I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
