the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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