Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
