I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
