What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
