The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
