I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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