how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
