It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
