I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
