he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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