Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize