He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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