There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
