just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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