what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
