you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
