Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
