I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
